Monday, October 15, 2007

Tic Tac Toe

Somebody offered to play me in tic-tac-toe for the first time in a long time when we were stuck in class the other day. While I was more than down to blow off some steam, I had to say no, and vehemently. I refuse to play that game ever again. There's two quick reasons why:

A) It gives a bigger advantage to the player that goes first than any game I have ever seen in my life. You might as well just try to play a game of backyard football and let Bill Belichick coach the other team and use a cell phone with video and picture messaging. Just like there's no way you can win if you go second in tic tac toe, there's no way you can win against huge cheaters like the Patriots.

B) You know how the worst punishments the Greeks could think of was pushing a boulder up a hill all day? Well, that's because they had never seen tic tac toe. Most people are bored of this game by the second grade, when they get sick of spinning those big blocks on the play structure and would rather go hang on the monkey bars instead. If you know how to play right (and it's not hard), you'll tie every time. I can't imagine a worse possible premise for a game.

Can't we do better, America? Don't we want our children to grow up in a better world than we grew up in? If we care so much about global warming, then we should care about getting rid of things like tic tac toe. Hangman or paper ro-sham-bo would both be much better. Hell, get creative, and make your own minesweeper field for somebody to decipher. Do anything, just no more tic tac toe. I don't want to see it ever again.